Readin, Ritin, n Rithmatic

It is amazing to me how all of a sudden my baby can read and write and do math - I had no idea he was capable of such acheivements until I met with SuperGerky's teacher and she told me that he wrote a story. I wasn't sure what she meant until he did it for me. He wrote a bona fide story - words, sentences, complete thoughts. The spelling was atrocious of course, and the sentence started on the bottom left side of the page and then wound up the page going in a sort of serpentine motion, but nonetheless, he canwrite. When exactly did THAT happen? I have been working with him more diligently now on his reading and holy cow! It is amazing how much better he is getting every day. I am so proud of him. Although now it is just a matter of time until I lose a primary way of communicating with my husband while he is in the room. D.A.M.N. (oops).

Magician still amazes me every day with the type of things that come out of his mouth. He and his brother were teasing each other and he turned to his big brother with a little giggle and said "aw, you got me AGAIN!" I had to do a double take. The idioms that he comes out with just floor me. Of course, he still answers all my questions about school the same way (ie. "what did you do at school today?" "Miss Amy"). Oh except when I ask him a question that starts with "when...." then his pat answer is Sunday. "Mommy, I'm going swimming!" "You are? When?" "Sunday" or "Mommy, I watched Thomas" "You did? When?" "Sunday" etc. He does make me laugh.

Ok, just a quickie entry today - I'm off to the gym. Said goodbye to 20 pounds - now I'm trying to get rid of the final 10. Later.

A More Pleasing Theory

Back to school night tonight. Got my parent's letter all ready to go although I don't know if it got approval from the principal yet. I feel like a child waiting for a grade on my first paper. Today has been crazy and I have been incredibly moody - a deadly combination.

I was talking with another working mom in Supergerky's class this morning and we were discussing how we need to get more done by 8am then most people get done in a week. For instance, this morning, I got up, showered, dressed, groomed etc., made lunches for everyone, got 2 children dressed (a miracle in and of itself), called my mother to find out if my father was allergic to the pear/jello/cranberry thing I was making to bring to her house for dinner tomorrow (which incidentally I was making while talking to her), packed food for the day for everyone, found the information on the Back to school night that was lost in a pile of crap on my table, and did a load of laundry. Before 8am. ANYWAY, when I was talking to her about being the class mom I said that it was ironic that it was a working mom that stepped forward to it when no other mom did. She said it wasn't compensating, it was that we, out of necessity, have learned the fine art of balancing and time management. I like that theory much better. She said that she knows many stay-at-home moms that put their kids into afternoon kindergarten because they like to have a nice slow relaxing morning and by the time they get up and dressed and motivated, it's already mid-morning. That is not an option for me. That makes sense. I like that.

Balance seems to be the word of the week for me. Yesterday I was trying to explain to a five year old what balance meant. He was saying that he always wanted to do fun things - all the time. I had my hands up in front of me, scale like and had just put all the fun things on one side... before I had a chance to balance them with the not-so-fun things that we all have to do every now and then so that we CAN do the fun things, the doorbell rang and I lost him to a grinning, silly 5 year old boy who wanted to chase the dog around and play on the swing. So to him, all fun things go in one hand and the other hand gets to hang out there with no real purpose. To my husband, balance seems to be work in one hand, and other hand tied behind his back. Regarding Back to School night, he told me "I'll see what I can do but I don't know if I'll be able to get out" I asked him "do you have something going on? A meeting or something?" "No. I just don't know what the day will look like." To me it looks like you have Back to School night at 7:30 this evening at your son's school. But he'll see if can make it. Men.

Then there is the work saga - the what do we get the boss, who has scads of money and doesn't need us to buy her a thing, but who is incredibly generous with all of us saga. My colleagues want to spend something akin to the GNP of a small country to give this woman something that she absolutely does not need and when I said I was on a budget here they said well then, you can do something on your own. So I am the only shmo that will be left off the card and that feels like crap. I am thinking of doing something passive aggressive like getting a card for her and saying that I felt terrible that the group left me out of the gift, but that I knew that she would appreciate a personal sentiment from us, something that money couldn't buy, much more because that's the type of person she is - not materialistic, generous, etc. etc. I tried to say something to my colleague about it too, but she said that it wasn't fair of me to tell them they couldn't spend that much if that's what they wanted to do. They could take second mortgages on their houses for all I care, but heck, I have children to support!
They don't. It just felt, well, wrong. Especially since this woman can afford to treat herself to any materialistic thing her heart desires - and does. Ok, getting angry again, moving on. Do I sound bitter?

I did have two notable moments today when my heart felt light and I was actually happy. First, when I dropped SuperGerky off at school this morning one of his little classmates called out to him and waited to walk with him. Then another came up behind them and the three became a cluster. A fourth boy came to join the group and I said "looks like the gang's all here." My boy looked at me, beaming, and said "yep, the gang's all here" and was so thrilled to be part of the gang and to have this whole group of new friends and I thought my heart would burst out of my chest. I wanted to hug each of these little boys and thank them for being friends with my boy - for not making him an outcast. More on that another time.

The second notable moment was when I came back from the gym, someone here at work, an acquaintance really, left a CD for me of the soundtrack from Grey's anatomy. She knew I liked the show and she is excited about the premiere so she went to the trouble of making the CD for me and left it with a note saying "we'll chat tomorrow!". A small gesture. But very touching.

Season premiere of Grey's Anatomy tonight. At least there is that to look forward to.

No Time for Colds

So I've checked and rechecked my calendar and I can't find it anywhere. This cold is unscheduled and as such must leave my being right now! This is one side effect of school that I hadn't really counted on. I'm a grown-up, I should be immune to the ailment going around the preschool, no? Apparently not. I finally have this thing worked out so that I can get the kids dressed, myself dressed, everyone off to school, to work, to the gym, get home, feed kids, undress kids, bathe kids, stories, bedtime and then do laundry, email, dishes, etc. with all activities precisely planned. Being knocked on my ass does not fit into these categories.

Had my class mom meeting with the teacher this morning. She is barely more than a kid herself. I will say though that dropping myself into that chair that is barely a foot off the ground does give me the illusion of being tall. I can pretend for a second that my 5 foot 1 (and a half) frame is actually imposing. Anyway, we plotted out the course of the year in a mere 20 minutes, and while I am still not exactly sure what I am supposed to be doing I know that we are planning a couple of parties, a few field trips and money for teacher's gifts. It also became quite obvious that I was dealing with the grown-ups (the class letter, the money, etc) and my co-parent will be doing the kid stuff (planning the activities for the class). Clearly I am not good with kids. Good thing my kids are good with me or we'd all be lost.

Both the boys still love school which I take as a blessing. Magician isn't so good at the question thing yet and answered each question I ask with the same three answers: "Miss Leslie", "Miss Amy" or "Goldfish". So the conversations might go something like this, "J, what did you do at school today?" "Miss Amy." "And who did you play with?" "Miss Leslie" Or "What story did you read today?" "Goldfish" "What did you have for snack?" "Miss Leslie" "Did you play outside?" "Goldfish". I guess that's more than I get out my other one: "So what did you do at school today?" "I forgot." "Who did you play with?" "I forgot", etc. Amazingly though, the kid can remember a conversation, word for word, or describe a situation that happened when he was 2 years old with almost perfect recall.

I feel like I can go on and on today but since I'm at work, I'm thinking I should probably get back to doing some of that.

Do Working Moms Overcompensate?

So my colleague made an interesting comment to me the other day. When I told her that I volunteered to be the class mom for Noah's class she nodded her head as if that were the most natural thing in the world. I expected laughter, shock, incredulity - anything but a knowing nod. If you knew me, you would know why it's particularly amusing that I would volunteer to be a class mom. Mostly because there are some would say that while my own children are the light of my life, I don't particularly like other people's children. She said that as working moms we overcompensate not being there for our kids during the day for volunteering for everything we can. It had me thinking. Do I volunteer to get involved to assuage my own guilt? But it's not guilt that I feel really - more like a feeling of "see, I can work and still be involved with my kids." Maybe I am trying to prove something to the other moms? The moms that wait every day outside the classroom and take their kids to the playground and bake with them and play patty cake and such. I mean, I'm not sure my kids really feel missing out because I am not there at the end of the school day.

I then got into a conversation with my boss about it (again, not all that bright) who said I was getting involved because *I* had issues that I needed to let go of and that my kids would be fine if I didn't once volunteer for anything. Now, I take issue with the idea that I have issues. But then why do I bother? Maybe the reason my boss said so assuredly that I need to get over my issues is that she never confronted her own guilt about climbing the corporate ladder while her children were still struggling through early childhood and now as teenagers, but she insists she never had any guilt. Maybe I do it because my mother did it. She was always on the school board or the PTA or something else that made every single teacher know me before I ever set foot in their classrooms. That made for an interesting high school career - the teachers either were afraid of me or had just the tiniest bit of contempt for me for being the daughter of the woman that signed their paychecks.

I don't know the answers. I just know that 2:30 this afternoon I will be heading to the elementary school to find out what being a class mother really means - then at 7:00 to find out what being a new parent at this school means - then at 7:30 to find out what the PTA really does and how my assistance might be needed. In the meantime, if this is guilt over not spending more time with my children, why am I leaving them home with a babysitter (or with their daddy) while I go to these incessant meetings?

New Beginnings

Wow, so many things going on today it's hard to know where to start. I think it's appropriate to first mention the anniversary of 9/11. It's hard to believe it was 5 years ago that the towers collapsed in that awful tragedy. I often find myself wandering around on this day in a bit of a fog not sure what I am supposed to be doing or feeling or how I'm supposed to be acting. I remember vividly, as I'm sure everyone else does, what I was doing that day, where I was when I first saw the news and where I was when I first realized that magnitude of it all - and when the towers fell. I grabbed my infant son to me and I cried and cried. So here we are 5 years later. What do we do now?

Today is also Hubby's birthday. He has tried unsuccessfully to change his birthday to Sept 12 since the horrible tragedy without much luck. His family all called him last night and I just had to ask him point blank if they actually KNEW when his birthday was. Heck, I know when it is and I wasn't even there - you would think those people that brought him into the world though should have some sort of recollection of what day it was. We went out to dinner last night to celebrate; not because we were trying to avoid the actual day, but because it was Sunday and I knew he would be home before 10pm (not something I can count on many other days). Then we went to Magician's school orientation. This brings me to the next subject of the day....


My baby started school today. He was so excited wheeling around his Buzz Lightyear backpack and wearing his new denim jacket. I packed the kids up in the car and off we went. We dropped Supergerky off first. He looked so grown up lining up with his class outside the school. The first few days we went we always missed the big march into the classroom so this was a new phenomenon. The little one was very upset when he couldn't line up and go in too.

Then it was off to preschool. The kids are so little. It was hard letting him go, even though he got to the threshhold of the door, gave a cheery "Bye Mommy" and a wave and went off to play with the Thomas the Train set they had there. It was only for an hour today but it was still rough. For the parents. He told me all about it when I met him at the end of class - Thomas the Tank Train, Harold the Helicopter, and goldfish for snack. That's what I got from him. Wait until he learns that he has to actually sit in circle time with the other kids. That's not gonna go over very well I'm afraid. At least the dirty look will be directed at someone else for a change. Oh, and the screeching. That's always a joy too. I guess we'll see. So we start the next chapter.

It's amazing how our lives have changed literally overnight. It used to be that their lives revolved around my schedule and what I had to do. Now it is insane how much stuff there is to do for them - it's all about them now. I volunteered to be a class mom for the kindersgarten class (and anyone that knows me laughs at the thought), then there is the PTA and the event for the preschool that I volunteered to chair because I want to be fair in my volunteering (not that they would know the difference but it assuages my guilt some), the back to school nights, the class meetings, etc etc etc. And homework hasn't even started yet. Oh, and now I have to get back to work. I guess my boss was not amused when I told her I didn't have time to work what with my emotional dramas and my blogging and such.

More soon.

Supergerky in Kindergarten

I can't believe a year has gone by since I updated this. Bad blogger, bad bad blogger. It took me about 45 minutes to remember my username and password too. Serves me right.

Well the house woes seem like forever ago. We are happily in our "new" home and neither of the boys has much memory of the old house. We drove by the other day and they painted it and made so many changes that I wonder if they show their friends the "before" pictures and say things like we say about how horrible the house was when they first moved in. The probably joke about my awful taste. LOL.

Supergerky started kindergarten yesterday. I thought I was going to get all choked up but I really didn't. The two of us skipped to school and had a jolly old time. He was still skipping when I picked him up so all must have gone well. My hubby and I took the day off of work for the occassion and took him out for lunch after school, just the three of us. I am glad he's excited but I didn't need to hear about it this morning at 6:00am. He came in squealing about how he got to go back to kindergarten today, wasn't that great?!? Fabulous. Now go away and come back in an hour.

The only thing that he is more excited about than school is soccer. Give my kid a ball and bunch of kids to kick it around and he is in heaven. Boy did he let me have it though when I drove him to the wrong field for practice last night. Well who the heck decided that they should practice at a field across town from where their games are played?? He just didn't quite fit in with the third grade girls that were playing there - but not from lack of trying. It helped that I wasn't the only moron with a huge L on her forehead - another mom did the same thing. Tomorrow is his first game of the season. You would think I told him he would get free candy and be able to eat as much as he wants by the way he was jumping around.

Now I just have to get through Magician starting preschool on Monday. Anyway, lots more to talk about (amazing how many things actually happen in a year) but I have to run now. More next year, er, I mean tomorrow. 8)